I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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