My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
