Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Will you blow on my dice?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
