I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
its liver damage thursday
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
