You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we made out on top of his cat.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
