You're completely useless in the revolution.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
