look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
