Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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