my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
look no pants
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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