maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
