I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
