I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize