her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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