so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
