we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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