He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
