He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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