And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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