We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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