Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
