I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
