in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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