okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
