That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
