the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
