My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
