so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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