i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
