Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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