my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
