you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's never too late to be topless.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
