I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
