I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
