I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize