my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
