I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
