Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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