I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
