Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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