was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
