Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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