does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
