i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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