it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
