I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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