Having a random hookup so left but love u
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
