I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
