He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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