I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
