Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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