Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
