So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
