Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
