So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize