gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
