GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
