Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
